A Simple Guide to Finding Your Tribe

“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with” – Jim Rohn

Let’s think about this quote for a few moments.

“I am the average of the 5 people I spend most of my time with”…  (Repeat it again)

Right now some of you are shouting “YES I am” and the rest of you are staring blank faced at your computer as you read these words.

If you have been feeling a rumbling within your heart for change in your life but are unsure of where to start, please let me suggest starting with your tribe.  I use the word “tribe” as a symbol.  For me when I imagine a tribe, I envision a group of like-minded people who have come together because of common beliefs and a similar purpose.  Yes I have loosely defined this word and you’ll see why in a moment but for now do you agree?

I believe in my heart of hearts if you feel an uneasiness in your life, you should start by taking a look at the people you choose to surround yourself with.  The uneasiness can be the first internal indicator that something is not matching up energetically between you and others now.  Something has shifted within you.  This is actually a positive clue.

Grabbing your journal, write down your ideal life. You can start with these questions.

  1. If I could do any type of work I wanted, what would I be doing?
  2. If I could live anywhere in the World, where would I be living right now?
  3. What would my perfect day look like from the moment I awake until I rest my head? (Some ideas-meditate, exercise, work doing _____, hobbies etc)
  4. What are my personality and behavioral traits at the time i am living my life to the fullest?
  5. What are the traits of the people I would be spending most of my time with?
  6. Who are these people I am spending my time with? (these people can be people you already know or potential people with qualities you hope to surround yourself with)

Spend a great deal of time answering these questions.  When you have completed those questions move on to this next section.

Leaving out your children for now unless they are adults, pick the 5 adults you currently spend most of your time with. This could be a partner, family (parents or siblings), your co-workers, friends and anyone else you currently spend time with.  Pick those 5 adults right now and write them down.

Now answer these questions in your journal.

  1. Do I like the personality of each of these people?
  2. What fills me up by being in the presence of each one of these people?
  3. Do I share similar beliefs with each of them?
  4. Do we work towards a common purpose that is meaningful?
  5. Are the habits of each of these people similar to mine?
  6. Are these habits we commonly share healthy and helpful?
  7. After spending time with each of them, how do I feel about myself?

After answering this second set of questions, compare them.  Is the life you would love to be living and the people you currently surround yourself with, reflective of each other? Basically, do the top 5 people you currently spend most of your time with, help you or hinder your growth to the life you would love to be living right now?

Are you hiding from your tribe or is your tribe hiding from you? Chances are, if you are not yet connected with your tribe, you are the one hiding. Energetically, you are not resonating at the same energetic vibration as those you wish to be… not yet anyway.  You must begin living the life you DESIRE to be living now, in order to energetically attract more to you, including your tribe. You can not beat the same drum and expect different music.

Maybe you want to live a healthy inspirational life, but associate with people who work the daily 8-5 grind and drink and smoke every evening to cope.  Or maybe your life purpose involves providing a spiritual service to people, but you spend all your current time at a job that is dissatisfying with co-workers who are filled with drama.

Do you see where this is going?

So, have you already found your tribe, or are you on the hunt for them?  If by answering the questions you realize you need to find your tribe, where will you begin exploring?

This answer depends on the tribe you desire to be around.  Consider the qualities of your ideal tribe and think about where those people are.  Maybe they are at your local church or yoga studio.  They could be at the next political food protest March or the next motivational speaking engagement.  This I know, they are out there!

However, there is one prerequisite to finding them that I have not mentioned.  You must get out of your box! The tribe you are yearning for is not hanging out where you currently are, otherwise you would already be with your tribe right?

Be intentional. With this simple guide of questions you now know who you are craving to be around! Go out into the world with intention and inspired action. Whatever you do, don’t give up your search until you find them!

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Tara Fournier

Tara is a spiritual seeker who is guided by Spirit to share with you, her quests of finding her own inner truths of life through personal reflections, self discoveries, yoga, and mind body awareness in hopes of inspiring you in your own journey. You can also find her at TaraFournier.com

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