Missed Opportunities of Vulnerability

 

Relationships are interesting.  I mean think about it. How is it we are so in love with a partner, and then over time something happens. We aren’t sure exactly where the wrong turn took place but suddenly you find yourself laying next to a person who in reality is a foot a way but emotionally feels like 1000 miles away. What happened?

My husband and I have had some extreme ups and downs throughout our relationship. We fell in love in a hot minute, married in the blink of an eye and *BAM* our daughter was created. It was a magical year! Then, reality set in just like any other relationship prior.

So what happens exactly? In my opinion, human-ness happens.

Human-ness: our inability to see the Divine Light within others while at the same time creating stories in our minds (that may not even be true), our past experiences, the distortion of our past experiences, our insecurities, expectations, and a spiritual disconnection to love and our own greatness.

When our human-ness plays a bigger role in our relationships and all that “stuff” gets in the way, we miss opportunities to be vulnerable with our partner. Being vulnerable is letting those above said things go and remembering we are all Divine in our own right. At times I can literally feel walls around my heart, and truth is, I am the only one who built them. I understand that LOVE is all I ever want, and love is where I come from, and when I say love I don’t mean romantic love, I mean soulful Source love.  But when I get disconnected from this awareness, I project my disconnection onto my partner and all hell breaks loose!

When your partner is disconnected from their awareness of soulful Source love and you are disconnected from yours, watch out! Cat fights and lightening bolts abound!  Relationships end and marriages are broken because we think we are protecting our heart, but in actuality we are making an unconscious choice to buy into our human-ness instead of remembering each other’s Divine-ness.

vulnerabilityThe definition of Vulnerability in Webster’s Dictionary is: easily hurt or harmed physically, mentally or emotionally. Open to attack, harm or damage.

Well geez, no wonder we live in a world of people afraid to be vulnerable! Who wants to be open to attack or harm physically, emotionally or mentally?  I very much prefer Brene Brown’s definition to Webster’s then.

Why? Because I’ve allowed myself to be vulnerable before. I’ve witnessed the good and the bad experiences from being vulnerable. Being vulnerable in those times was when I chose to let those walls fall down around my heart and to open to someone. Just because I chose to be vulnerable to a person who was disconnected from their Divine-ness and more connected to their human-ness, does not mean I should not be vulnerable anymore.  In fact, it should have made me be MORE vulnerable in the sense that I should have chosen to see the Divine in that person even more than they could.  But what happens is my own human-ness kicks in and takes the drivers seat of my emotions, and hence the walls came back up even higher.

Think about your current or past relationship for a moment. Hold it in your heart instead of your mind. Is it possible that you did not allow yourself to be vulnerable, to fully open your heart to that person, from fear of past experiences and expectations that your mind created?  Can you truthfully say your heart was able to see the Divine-ness of your partner in all aspects of your relationship?

Now, to clarify, this is a two way street here folks. By no means am I recommending you stay in a relationship because you see the Divine in your partner, even though they do not see the Divine in you.  This is the catch! Who you choose to partner with says everything about what you believe you are worthy of, and less about your partner.  If your partner treats you like crap, don’t complain about your partner.  Instead ask yourself why you chose this partner in the first place! People who believe they are worthy of love and greatness attract love and greatness, and those who don’t believe they are worthy will attract partners who don’t believe they are worthy as well.

What this world needs in vulnerability! What our relationships need are vulnerable people! Vulnerability is having an open heart. Vulnerability is choosing to lower the walls and to honor others as Divine Beings of Source. Vulnerability is understanding that the past does not dictate the future. Vulnerability is releasing expectations on people and situations and wholeheartedly believing in the goodness of every person and experience.

Make a conscious choice to choose vulnerability in your relationships. You will receive an abundance of vulnerability back from your partner, and if you don’t then move on. But, you must truly be vulnerable before doing so.  Let your heart break OPEN without fear!  In the end if we don’t allow room for vulnerability, then these human experiences will just be missed opportunities of receiving love and truth, and the missed opportunity to witness Divine greatness.

2 Comments on “Missed Opportunities of Vulnerability

  1. Great post Tara…I recently experienced a breakup from a partner with whom I was completely vulnerable, for the first time in all of my relationship history. I immediately withdrew into my ‘human-ness’ and began blaming him, swearing off vulnerability in the future and retreated behind walls I had to re-create. It was really painful.

    This post is very timely, because as I’m going through the process of healing from that breakup, it’s nice to be reminded to ‘hold the past relationship in my heart’ and not in my mind. When I hold it there, I see isn’t a bad person and he did not intentionally screw me over, and honestly I’m really grateful for the experience of being vulnerable with another human. Gotta remember to see Divinity in everyone, even when things don’t go as planned (they seldom do, anyway), even when it hurts, even when you feel a great loss. Anyway, thanks a lot <3

    • Thank you so much for sharing something thats personal for you. I wrote this post because I needed the reminder too. Its very easy to forget we all our Divine. As far as relationships go, someone once told me these words…”Its only meant to work out with one person.” Although I believe everyone in our life and relationships are meant for a purpose, mostly being spiritual growth, it helped soften my heart to all those relationships that didn’t work out. A the truth is, all those relationships that appeared to not work out, actually served the purpose they were meant to, so they actually did work out. Thanks again for sharing!

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