The day began with another sleepless night, filled with excessive thoughts and random crankiness. My outer person has retracted like a rubber band between a little boy’s fingers just waiting for the moment to take the next shot. My inner person has reared something ugly that I don’t want anyone to meet.
The coffee didn’t dance for me like it normally does in the morning. No warm and fuzzy feelings did it choose to share. It just sat there, equally renounced as I was. My personal morning friend, the one that makes me smile. Not today. No excitement in her either.
Peering behind my burlap curtains, the sky doesn’t look very enthusiastic either. Old man winter came back and oh did I mention Aunt Martha paid a visit. Nothing seems excited today. No birds singing their chorus, no wind pirouetting through the trees. There is definitely no twinkle in my eye nor pep in my step. Everything is still, almost lifeless. Then I begin to remember.
Winter is a time for stillness, a season for inner observation. It’s a chance to stop, retract from the business of life and find a better way to progress more peacefully through it all. Ah, yes. No wonder I am melancholy. My emotions have become so in tune with the seasons, that at times I check the calendar for an explanation of myself.
Have you ever noticed how different days of the week can feel like different seasons? Sunday and Monday feel like winter. Tuesday and Wednesday appear as Fall. Thursday seems like spring. Friday and Saturday materialize as summer. I love how the world is so connected. If you choose to see the symbolism in it all, you will.
Just as a flower begins as a seed and must be planted in nourishing soil, we too can take this time to plant new roots in something rich and delicious. I am reading a book called “The Untethered Soul” by Michael A. Singer. This is my chosen rich and delicious soil for my new seeds. As the day grows long I realize this book is teaching me exactly what I need to now know. Have you ever noticed how Divine Timing works that way? In fact, my husband purchased this as a Christmas gift for me 2 years ago, per my request. Why now is it that I have just picked it up? Well, because it’s my time for it. Divine Timing.
So as I hide in our bedroom all day and let my husband take on my role of parenting too, I find gratitude in my Sunday feelings. My emotions run deep within. Deep. Above the crown of my head they start, flowing down like lava through my core, to my toes and into Mother Earth. I will be ok with being still. It’s necessary. As the book is teaching me, I may not be these feelings at all. Just the observer of them. I want to be like the flower. Just as a flower must grow roots deep and strong in order to rise above to the light, I too must grow these new roots strong. My Spring is counting on me.